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ADSL

Welcome to the Foxglove ADSL service. ADSL is technically quite complicated, so here's a FAQ sheet to give you a better understanding of how it works.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the ADSL acronym stand for?

Always Delayed Slightly Longer

I thought it meant Asymmetric Digital Subscriber Line, a kind of high speed Internet connection?

You're thinking of other countries - more developed countries with advanced telecom systems, like the USA, where it does indeed mean Asymmetric Digital Subscriber Line. Here in the UK it means Always Delayed Slightly Longer.

So what's the deal?

We promise you a fast Internet connection next month. You can sign up and pay your subscription fees right now.

So it is a high speed Internet connection. Great! When can I get it installed?

Next month.

Well, hold on a moment. How can I know that for sure?

Just check out our history. It's always been next month.

So… that's what you said last month?

Exactly. And the month before that. That's how ADSL works.

No, I don't get this.

That's right. You don't get it. Not until next month.

But when next month arrives, you'll tell me it won't be installed until the month after.

Not at all. When next month arrives, we'll tell you it won't be installed until next month.

This is doing my head in.

Like we said, ADSL technology is pretty complicated.

So you mean, all I actually get for my money is the promise that you'll give me a high speed Internet connection. But in reality it will always be installed next month, and when next month arrives it will still be installed next month?

Well done! That's it. You understand ADSL. We're glad our FAQ sheet helped.

But this is preposterous.

Thanks

What do you mean, thanks? I mean it's lunacy, idiotic, unreal.

We've been running our ADSL service for almost two years now, and it's very profitable.

I should think it is. Now try this question for size. Just give me one single example of somebody who thinks this kind of ADSL service is… well, not wonderful … just… acceptable?

OFTEL